I can count the number of shows that I have watched on Netflix on one hand. I have tried to watch many shows and movies and I usually just get turned off by characters or subject matter that I either don't care about, or who I find objectionable. I think the purpose of "media" like this is that it's supposed to be enjoyable, and most of what's out there, I don't enjoy. Everything in life - including media - is an opportunity to be creating the world that we want to live in, and so that's my standard. In order for me to want to watch it, it needs to be somehow contributing to creating the world that I want to live in, otherwise I am not willing to give it my time and attention.
But sometimes I just want to relax and be taken on a story telling adventure! So I am grateful that I have found a few series on Netflix that I have enjoyed. Two of them, not surprisingly, are about sex, intimacy and exploration - Sex Education and Wanderlust. They're both set in the UK. Both of these series have redeeming value because they present subject matter that will hopefully expand viewers perspective on sex, intimacy, eroticism, relationships and human connection. Also, I fell in love with the characters, especially Otis and Maeve in Sex Education.
But today I want to rant about a way that I think both of these series fall short. Just about every sex scene, in both series, presents the encounter as a frantic, sweep-everything-off-the-kitchen-table-and-take-me-right-now kind of experience. I suppose this is the creator's way of keeping viewers interested and entertaining people. In all of these sex scenes, there is little or no communication about what is happening, no discussion of consent
BUT THIS IS NOT THE ONLY KIND OF HOT SEX THAT THERE IS!
The creators of both series have included content that is amazingly sensitive and expansive, ranging from gender exploration, polyamory, the role of fantasy in romance, emotional intimacy, partnership, ethics and integrity, personal fulfillment and satisfaction, and so much more. Sex Education, in particular, really covers so much ground in this rich landscape. But there is a huge mismatch between the depth of the concepts and material that is presented and the depth of the sex that is portrayed. I feel so disappointed by this mismatch because I think media like this is such an opportunity to portray what embodiment really looks like. Let's see not just the concepts and principles, but the actual embodiment of these things as well.
Why not make the ACTUAL SEX SCENES also reflect this expansiveness of what is possible when it comes to intimacy? Why not also show some of the awkwardness, the communication, the pauses, the tenderness, the expression of complex emotions? Those things are hot, too, I think. I also think it's possible to portray these things without totally shifting the whole arc of the story or the session.
So, this, my friends, is an example of why (in general) I don't watch "TV". But I am grateful for the entertainment that these series have provided. And I do recommend them both. If you have others that you have enjoyed, please comment below and let us know!
Also, check out this article by my friend Mike (who is also a Somatica practitioner) about how watching romantic comedies can actually undermine your love life!
PS Another series that I loved is "Messiah" - inspiring and provocative, both.
