"Not Knowing" is an honorable spot.

I've been falling in love with the precision and the wisdom of the Eros Sutras these days. This is a collectively written text, springing from the minds behind Orgasmic Meditation, led by Nicole Daedone. This particular section, explains why "not knowing" is a vital stage of creation, and "not knowing" is an honorable spot. When they say "spot", it's implied that they're talking about a spot on a clitoris, since OM-ing is about the spiritual practice of giving someone pleasure by methodically and lovingly stroking her clitoris. When stroking, there is often a particular spot that particularly "sparks consciousness".

The "spot" that I am often trying to find is the sweet spot in a coaching session with someone. I often spend the first 30 minutes (or more!) of a session listening and feeling into the space between me and my beloved client. The "spot" I am looking for is where their learning edge is - and how I can explore that learning edge with them, in an immediate, experiential, intimate way. When we do find the spot together, this results in yummy sparks of consciousness being released. We both feel it. Finding the "spot" often involves making myself quite vulnerable, and being with what I don't know. I may bring up my feelings for them, and share what turns me on. We may practice saying "no", saying "yes" or making invitations. Or breathing into our genitals together.

What I realized from reading this part of the sutra is that when someone pays me to be their coach, it's less about what they are paying me to know. It's more about what they are paying me to NOT know. I am MORE of service to them when I show up in a steady, loving, present state of NOT knowing. This state of NOT knowing takes more presence than the state of knowing or directing.

It feels really comforting to me to allow myself to not know - especially in arenas where I am highly trained and really do know a lot. Furthermore, the more I surrender to not knowing, the bigger of a window I leave for those magic sparks of consciousness to emerge, and that's what we're really here for!